A Day In The Life Of
by Jaliceforever
Summary: A day in the life of your favourite characters. Rated T for language.
1. Emmett

**A/N: Okay, I am carrying on with Eternal Night for those of you who are reading that. But this was a spur of the moment thing and I had to write it down. Btw, is anyone else shocked about Vanessa Hudgens auditioning for the part of Leah Clearwater in New Moon?**

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer and owned Twilight, this would not be on fanfiction. This would be published.**

**Dedication: This fanfic is dedicated to the genius character that is Emmett Cullen. You make me lol. It is also dedicated to Kellan Lutz (aka KLUTZ/Princess Kelmet). Thank you for bringing Emmett to life, you do him justice and you are an amazing actor. Oh and you're pretty fit as well.** ;-)

A day in the life of Emmett Cullen

**7.00am**

I eventually drag myself away from my sex-bomb of a wife. Damn she's hot. I walk downstairs and into the usually empty kitchen. Jasper is sitting by himself. Larry.

"Hey Jazz-hands! What you doin'?

"Well Emmett, if you must know, I thinking of ways to lure Bella from Edward and drain her blood." Whoa. This dude had some serious issues. Maybe he should visit a counsellor...

"Jazz, how many times. Humans are FRIENDS not FOOD!"

"I know, I know, I was just messing with you! Should have seen the look on your face!" Jasper was suddenly in hysterics. Alice walked in.

"Morning Alice!"

"Hey Em. Jazz, please can we play with our tamagotchi?"

Jasper stopped laughing and reappeared from under the table. "Um, Alice, about that..."

"JASPER WHITLOCK CULLEN! You forgot to feed it, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?"

"Yes Alice. I'm sorry, but... it died."

"How could you Jazz? That was your pet! YOUR PET! I'm reporting you to the animal protection agency!"

And... this was my cue to leave. I went into the living room where I found boring old Edward lying on the couch, reading. He seriously needs to get a life. Or a girlfriend, then maybe he won't have as much time on his hands.

"Hey Eddie!" I said, switching the T.V on. Yay! The Powerpuff Girls were on. "So Ed, anything new?"

"No, not really, but I would appreciate it if you didn't think about stuff like that around me."

"What? I'm only picturing Rose naked! What's wrong with that?"

"Well when Rose is your sister, it's kinda weird, you know?" Yeah I guess that would be weird. Edward shouldn't be so nosy then.

"And I'm not being nosy, thank you very much. You know I can't help reading your mind."

"Yeah yeah whatever." I sauntered out of the room. Nosy little bastard.

"I heard that Emmett!"

**7.30 am**

Now, what shall I wear today? I was in the closet, choosing my outfit. Should I go for the gangster look? Or what about the punk rocker? Maybe just the classic 'mysterious and alluring' look? No, I think gangster today. I put on my favourite white tracksuit and my thick gold chain. Then I gelled my hair into a sexy Mohawk. Someone was lookin' fly!

Rosalie came in, demanding that I help her find something to wear. She needed my valuable opinion on her clothes. To be honest, I think she looks the best without any clothes at all, but she insists on wearing some to school. Shame. Oh well, a guy can dream...

8.00 am

Time for school! "Rose, can we take the jeep to school today?"

"God no! We're taking the BMW."

"Aw man! Why not?"

"Because it's filthy and disgusting and I wouldn't been seen...well not dead... but, I just wouldn't be seen in it."

"But my jeep is sooooo cool! It could easily squish all those puny, little cars like Edward's crappy Volvo!"

"Emmett, we're taking the BMW or no sex for a week. Now get in." Damn, she knew my weak spot.

"Fine, big meanie!" The only reply I got was a very loud hiss.

**8.30 am**

We arrive at school. Or I should say Rose, Alice, Jazz and I arrived at school. Edward had gone to pick up that 'Bella Swan' girl again. I'm sorry, but what in the name of Carlisle's frilly undergarments is that about? Talk about opposites attract! I mean, c'mon! It wasn't that long ago that Eddie used to EAT humans. And now he's making out with them? Ewww.

**8.45 am**

My first lesson of the day, Geography! Geography's always fun. This is the lesson where Mike Newton sits in front of me. I walked in, only ten minutes late, and sat down in my usual place at the back of the class. Time for operation spitball!

I was in the middle of said spitball fight with Mike 'annoying bastard' Newton, when Mr Buckley asked me a question.

"Emmett Cullen, what is the capital of England?" Oh my god! I totally knew the answer to this one!

"Um... E?"

"No, Emmett, no. The capital of England is not E. It is in fact London."

Oh right. Duh.

**10.00 am**

Yay, Chemistry, my favourite subject! You get to burn stuff in Chemistry. My lab partner for this class however was Jessica Stanley. The world's most irritating girl. She just sits there for the whole lesson drooling over my muscles. Literally. I know I'm unbelievably hot and all, but some people take obsession a bit too far. I heard she even set up a fan club for me.

Anyways, so I was setting up my Bunsen burner, when an idea struck me like a bolt of lightning. And believe me, this didn't happen very often. I wonder what would happen if I stuck my finger in the flame? I tried it out. No frickin way! The flame turned purple!

"Orange flame, purple flame, orange flame, purple flame, orange flame, purple flame, orange fla-"

"OH MY GOD! SOMEONE CALL AN AMULANCE! EMMETT'S ON FIRE!" I looked at my finger. Funnily enough Jessica wasn't lying. The flame now seemed to be coming from my finger, like weird cigarette lighter.

"SWEETJESUSMOTHEROFMARYHOLYSONOFABITCH!" I exclaimed. I blew the flame out, but my finger was now a really strange colour. And it smelt of burning.

"Emmett, I think you'd better go to the school nurse."

"Sure thing Mrs Jenkins!"

"Emmett, do you want me to come with you?"

"I'm good Jessica. You just stay here."

**10.20 am**

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"I gotta boo-boo on my poor ickle finger!"

"Excuse me?"

Crap. "Oh, uh, I mean, I burnt my finger in Chemistry."

"Oh well come here and I'll get you a band aid."

She passed me something green. Awesome, it had dinosaurs on it!

**12.00pm**

Lunch time! Not that I was having anything to eat. But I get to see Rose! Yippee!

"Hey Rosalie!" I said, sitting down next to my gorgeous wife.

"Hey baby." She patted my leg.

"Hey guys!" I received no reply from Alice and Jasper, who were in the middle of an intense Pokémon battle. "Wait, where's Ed?"

"Over_ there."_ Rose sounded disgusted. "With that slutty, whorey, shithead, **(A/N: LOL to Amy et Leo**) Bella Swan. I mean what's so great about her? She's just a human!" Oh great, Rosalie was jealous. She needed some serious distracting. Hmmmm...

"Say, Rose, why don't we go for that 'study session' now?"

"And she's not even pretty! Edward could do so much better!"

"Rose?"

"What Emmett? No, I am not in the mood for school work right now!"

"No, I mean our _study session."_

"Oh right!" Her face lit up like a 5 year old at Christmas. "Meet me in the bio lab in 5 minutes!"

**3.00pm**

Would you look how time flies when you're having fun? End of school already, jeez! Wow, looks like Rose and I ran over a bit with our 'study session'.

And now... to the parking lot!

"What the hell is Edward doing?"

"Staring at that Bella. AGAIN!"

"Stay calm Rose. Remember, think happy thoughts."

She exhaled and removed her fingernails from my arm. "You're right. Nice and calm."

At that moment, a car came swerving round the corner in Bella's direction. For some reason, and this really baffled me, Edward ran in her direction and stopped the car, just in time to save Bella from becoming road kill.

"JESUS CHRIST ON HIGH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" All four of us were staring dumbfounded at Edward who proceeded to jump of the bonnet of Bella's van and casually stroll away. I heard the groan of metal as the car door Rosalie was opening was suddenly imprinted with the shape of her fist. She's sooooo gonna regret that in the morning when we have to take the jeep to school.

**3.30pm**

Rose has gone to the hospital to tell Edward off. And I'm bored. I wonder what Alice and Jasper are doing?

I don't bother knocking on their bedroom door and I walk in to find Jasper dressed in a frilly pink skirt, a very tight top and a pair of Rosalie's heels. To top it all off, his hair is in pigtails.

"Oh, er, hey Emmett! Um, don't you have something else to do?"

"Rosalie's at the hospital, remember? Does Alice know you're dressed like that?"

"Um, well, no, not really."

"Dude, I didn't know you were in to cross-dressing!"

"I'm not. It's just that Alice said dress up turned her on, so I decided to experiment."

"You are beyond the valley of the weird." I turned to leave.

"Emmett, please don't tell Alice about this, er, incident."

"Your secret's safe with me bro."

**5.00pm**

Wow, I am so kick-ass at guitar hero! No one can beat the almighty power of Emmett!

"Now Alice, feel my wrath!!" Wooo hoooooo! I am amazing.

"I'm bored of this game Emmett. Let's play something else. A three player game. Then Jazzy won't be left out." She stroked his cheek. Ugh, great. I'm stuck here babysitting these two. How come everyone else gets to go shout at Edward and I'm left here? I want to go.

"Fine! Let's play hide and seek. I'll count, you and Jasper go hide!"

"Yay! Let's go Jazz! And Emmett, no cheating. Count to 100!"

"Okay, 1,2,3,4..." Ha ha ha. That should keep them busy for a while. Suckers.

**7.00pm**

Rose, Edward, Carlisle and Esme _finally _get home. If I wasn't already dead, I might have just died from boredom. Edward went straight to his piano. Not a good sign. He always plays when he's stressed out. Carlisle and Esme went off hunting, leaving me and Rose alone in the living room. What shall we do to pass the time I wonder?

**10.00pm**

Ah, one of the great advantages of being a vampire is you never get tired. Such an asset, especially for Rosalie and me. When we eventually calmed things down (Ed came downstairs, making disgusted noises), Rosalie asked me a question:

"Emmett, where are Alice and Jasper?" Oh my god. They were still hiding! This was _the _funniest thing that has _ever_ happened. I couldn't contain my laughter.

"Emmett? What's so funny?"

"Jasper, Alice?" I called. "You can come out now. I've looked everywhere for you, and you're just too good for this game. I give up, you win!"

Alice stepped out from the refrigerator and Jasper came out from behind the sofa.

"Alice! You were in the fridge!"

"Yeah! I knew you wouldn't look there and I was right wasn't I? High five Jazz, we won!"

"Yes, Alice. But I was stuck behind the sofa. Did you hear what Rosalie and Emmett were doing a few minutes ago? I am scarred for life. Quite literally actually." He pointed to the pattern of crescent-shaped bites on his arms and laughed.

"Okay...Rose, can we go hunt now?"

"Of course baby. Anything for you." She seemed to have mellowed down suddenly. I wonder if Jasper had anything to do with this...

**A/N: Okay hope you enjoyed. I am willing to do a day in the life of another character if anyone's interested! Please review! Merci beaucoup.**

**Jaliceforever xxxxxx**


	2. Jasper

**A/N: Here's part 2, a day in the life of Jasper!**

**This is dedicated to:**

**Jasper Whitlock/Cullen/Hale. LOVE YOU! My joint favourite character. Literally nearly died when you did your cool bat thing in the baseball scene.**

**Monroe Jackson Rathbone. You are an amazing actor! Love you in Senior Skip day (why would I wanna smoke my shoe? LOL) and you are so fit in Twilight. Thank you for being amazing!**

A day in the life of Jasper Hale

**7.00am**

Ahhh, there really is nothing like the sweet smell of blood in the morning, even if it is animal blood. Human blood is ten times more appealing, but this is my life now. Vegetarian, great. I saw the stag ahead and pounced. Mmmmmmm... yum yum. A little way ahead of me, my stunning wife was catching her own prey. She was so beautiful; it made my insides ache just watching her. Alice was graceful; practically dancing around the large deer and her soft, porcelain skin shimmered as the sunlight broke through the trees. She was absolutely perfect. And she belonged to me.

**8.00am**

Well, at least I'm no longer thirsty. That is, until I get to school and I'm met by the smell of bus-loads of humans. School is difficult for me. Everyone smells delicious, even the teachers. But Alice helps me. She keeps me strong, stops me from doing something I'll regret.

"Jasper!" Her voice was like the prettiest music.

"Yes, my darling wife?"

"Get your southern, sparkling ass in the closet right now!" I loved it when she talked sexy like that.

"Coming!" Alice was standing in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips. She didn't look happy and I could feel she was annoyed.

"Jasper, how many times? This section is for denim." She pointed to the nearest rack. "Leather goes over here."

"Oh right. I knew that. Sorry!"

"That's okay." She flitted over and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Besides, I've alphabetised all your clothes by brand name and laid you out outfits for each day of the week. You shouldn't have any trouble finding clothes again! I even bought you some day-of-the-week socks!"

"And that is why I married you." I bent down to kiss the love of my existence.

**8.30am**

Oh joy. School. Urgh. This was my seventh time in high school for crying out loud! And yet Carlisle still forced me into this torturous charade. I mean the smell that comes off some of those humans... They are _very_ lucky I have Alice to save me from toppling over the edge. Oh, here she comes now, dressed in...Tight leather pants and a skimpy top? Did Rosalie dress her this morning?

"Um, nice outfit Alice!" I didn't want to upset her, after all. And you know what? I reckon I could get used to the slutty, prostitute look. Alice would look spectacular in a sack, and believe me, I'd seen her in one.

"Actually, I think it's foul. Only don't tell Rose, she bought it for me. I'm wearing it to be polite." Always thinking of others before herself. So Alice.

"Well, _I_ think you look great." I tried to sound convincing.

"Jasper, I look like a twenty dollar hooker! Do not tell me I look great!" She took a deep breath. "Now, shall we catch a lift with Edward or Rose?"

"Well, actually, I think Edward's picking up Bella this morning."

"He is? Yay! I knew my vision would come true! Oh Jasper, I've seen it all. Bella's going to be part of our family! And I'm going to be such good friends with her! I'm so excited! Finally, I'll have someone to test make-up on!"

So the clumsy police-chief's daughter was going to become a vampire? A clumsy vampire, that's a new one. I chuckled.

"What?"

"Oh, er, nothing. So, looks like we're riding with Emmett and Rosalie this morning."

"Oh bloody fantastic. Stuck with beauty and the beast! Again! You know, we really need our own car Jazz. I'm thinking yellow..." I let Alice trail off. It was better that she didn't know Carlisle had strictly forbidden the buying of anymore cars.

**8.40am**

In the car. Alice is _still_ moaning about our lack of automobiles. Emmett is singing 'If I were a boy' at the top of his lungs and Rosalie is complaining about the state of her nails. But what does she expect? When you're a vampire and you spend half your time running through the forest at 50mph, chasing after deer to eat, it's unlikely that they're going to be in a great condition.

But seriously, am I the only normal one? Yes, I know we're vampires and drinking blood is not often classed as normal, but even so, my family is made up of: a psychotic blonde who would do _anything_ to be human, a doctor who spends all his time around human blood and manages to never drink a drop, a sex maniac, a vampire who wants to spend his time _kissing _humans, not _eating_ them, a little minx who never spends less than $5000 a week on clothes and a vampire mother hen, who feels the need to adopt every vampire she meets. See my point?

**9.00am**

First lesson of the day; History. My specialist subject.

"Okay class, settle down. Today you have a paper on the civil war."

Excellent. This was going to be sooooo easy.

**********************

Finished the paper with exactly 56 minutes and 38.2435 seconds till the end of the lesson. And I wrote nearly ten pages. If I don't get an A+ for this, they will pay.

**10.00am**

For the love of blood! Physics! The most boring, useless subject ever created. Who cares why we stay on the ground instead of floating up into the atmosphere? Can't we just accept that we do and get on with our lives? Apparently not.

On top of all the misery, I had this lesson with Emmett. Fabulous. An entire hour of stupidity and feelings of lust towards Rosalie. I might as well catch a plane to Italy right now.

"Hey Jasper!" Oh lord, if you do exist, please, please send a bolt of lightning down and frazzle Emmett's brains. Or what's left of them.

"So physics buddy, what we doing today?"

"Well, if you listened, Emmett, you would know. We're using magnets to generate electricity."

"Cool! Ha, ha, look what I can do!" Emmett had put magnets on either side of his nose so they attracted and squished it. And to think that he's old enough to be these children's grandparents...

**12.00pm**

Lunch. Well, lunch for the humans, I should say. We sit down at our normal table (minus Edward, he's still trying to seduce Isabella Swan) and I notice something strange. Whenever Mike Newton walks past our table, I suddenly get hit with wave of passionate desire. Why is he thinking about sex when walking past us? And he sure is walking past us a lot today... Yep, here he comes again and right on cue there it is; the lust, the desire. He's looking in mine and Alice's direction. Mike Newton is about to explode with lust and he's looking at my wife. Who happens to be dressed like one of the Pussycat Dolls today. Right. That's it!

I stood up. "Mike, do you mind if I talk to you for a sec?" I asked casually. Mike turned pale, then a kind of weird green colour.

"Um, sure, what about?" he managed to stutter.

"Jasper!" Alice whispered. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's okay. I got this. Trust me," I said through gritted teeth.

She stared at me for a long moment and then sighed. "Okay, I trust you. She turned her back to us.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Do you think we could talk somewhere a little more private?" I led him out of the cafeteria and towards the main office.

"So, Mike, I noticed that you were walking passed our table rather a lot today."

Mike turned red. "No more than usual."

"Oh, really. Well please explain to me why you were staring at my wi-, I mean, girlfriend the whole time!"

"I wasn't staring at _her._"

"Then pray tell me, who _were_ you staring at?"

"I was, I was..."

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that!"

"OKAY! I was staring at you! Happy now?" Oh dear God, no!

"Me!? Why me!?"

"Here's the truth. Jasper, I have loved you from the moment I set eyes on you. You are the reason for my existence. I come to school every day just to see you. Your face, your body, your hair..." He stroked my cheek.

"GET AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW! YOU COMPLETE PERVERT! I AM NOT GAY AND EVEN IF I WAS, I YOU WOULD SOOOOOO NOT BE MY TYPE!" I started to walk away; I needed to get away from him before I did something I'd regret.

"No, Jasper! Please, don't leave me! I need you!"

"Piss off." Ah, there was Alice. And Edward, laughing. Great. Absolutely spiffing.

"Jasper, are you okay? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine Alice. Mike and I just had... a little misunderstanding." Edward snorted and Alice's slender eyebrows pulled together.

"Don't worry," I told her, making her feel calm. "Everything's fine."

**2.00pm**

I was in the middle of my English class, when Bella Swan appeared at the door. Strange, I could have sworn she was a junior... What was she doing in a senior class?

"Yes Miss Swan, how may I help you?" asked Mr Mason, my English teacher.

"Um, Principal Greene would like to see Jasper Hale. Immediately." Oh great, what have I done now? If this is about that bloody speedboat, I will kill Emmett.

Reluctantly, I picked up my things and followed Bella out of the classroom. Edward was right. She does smell completely irresistible. It would be so easy; no one was around. I could lead her outside and... No, Jasper, no. Think of Alice. And Carlisle and Esme. I can't uproot the family again, it's not fair. But, then again...just the thought of tasting her blood sends shivers down my spine.

"Jasper?" Bella waved her hand in front of my face and sent a ripple of air towards me. Divine. I held my breath. "I think you should go _in_ Principal Greene's office, instead of just standing outside it."

"Oh right. Of course." I opened the door, ready to meet my doom.

**3.30pm**

Well, this is just fantastic, isn't it? I am sitting in detention. That's right. DETENTION. And you know why? Because of my stupid essay. My conversation with Principal Greene is still replaying in my mind...

FLASHBACK

"_Take a seat, Mr Hale." Unwillingly, I sank into one of the seats opposite his desk. "Now, I've just been speaking to your history teacher. He gave me this. Would you care to explain?" _

_Principal Greene held up a wedge of paper. "Oh, that's my essay. On the civil war."_

"_On the civil war, you say? Well that's interesting because it seems you've written something entirely different."_

_I started to read it. Shit. This was bad, really bad. 'The vampire wars of the south were mainly focused around bloodthirsty vampires wanting to claim control of the most densely populated areas. Many a battle was fought and it became apparent that it was impossible for a vampire to win on his/her own.' _

_That was my first paragraph. Oh holy crap, it gets worse..._

'_As the years went on, new techniques were tried and many failed. However, one idea occurred to a certain vampire named Benito. He created a giant newborn army, strong, powerful and plentiful in number. Newborns, as we all know, are extremely dangerous. They tend to be a great deal stronger than other vampires and of course, Benito succeeded in taking control of New Mexico.'_

_I stopped there. I think I got the gist of things._

"_So Jasper, you think this is funny do you? Writing some made-up nonsense story when you're meant to be doing your finals in three months time?"_

"_No, sir. I know it's not funny. It was a honest mistake, I swear."_

"_A mistake?! Right, detention Mr hale, after school today. You can help the cleaners." _

_Urgh, this day just keeps getting worse. It's mine and Alice's poker tournament tonight..._

END FLASHBACK

Ah, positively cringeworthy. At least he didn't believe it though; I'm so not in the mood for a visit from Aro. Oh well, back to scrubbing the cafeteria floor, I guess. Honestly, a vampire's work is never done...

**5.00pm**

I finally get home. Alice was waiting for me, with a big frown on her face.

"Jasper! How could you get a detention? You missed poker night!"

"I'm sorry Alice. I'll make it up to youlater_."_

"You're darn right you'll make it up to me, mister! I've seen a new Prada dress that's practically calling my name!"

"Actually Alice, I kinda meant in a different way. You know... _later."_

"Oh I see. _Later _later. Looks like I'm getting both then because I've already seen myself wearing the dress next week."

I had to admit, I was a little miffed. I'd pretty much just offered myself on a plate to her and she cared more about the dress? I was miffed, but it was so Alice and I couldn't help but love her for it.

"Anything for you, my baby." I picked her up into my arms and carried her into the forest. We sat under the tree, _our _tree. On it, carved in Alice's impeccable handwriting were the words: _Alice and Jasper, together forever, never apart. _She'd written it when we first move here.

I gazed into her beautiful eyes and knew that this was where I would always belong.

**A/N: Lol I had fun writing this, hope you enjoyed! Please review and give me requests for the next character.**

**Jaliceforever xxxxx**


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